Years ago a family member would be on hand to offer homely wisdom in a crisis or long-term problem. But with family scattered across the country or even the globe, in many cases contact with them has changed from daily interaction to the occasional emails and a Christmas card. On the plus side, of course, a relative living somewhere sunny or fashionably exotic can provide a handy base to use for a holiday. Well-placed relatives can suddenly make that trip to US or Australia accessible!

With a falling birth rate, most people have fewer brothers, sisters and cousins and it's also becoming increasingly rare for them to live just around corner. So friends and colleagues of all shapes and sizes often fill gaps and take on roles that extended families commonly filled just a generation or two ago. Other new sources of help in times of crisis include self-help groups and TV advice programmes.

The same advice in a different format?
These days almost any problem has its corresponding group willing to offer support, and maybe it's easier to accept advice from someone unrelated to you. Member-centred self-help groups usually have a trained leader and a more professional approach. Statistics show that women actually feel more comfortable with them, especially young unmarried women. Benefits include: sharing information, mutual problem solving, overcoming isolation and empowerment – exactly the things friends give us. But there are some crucial differences: online self-help groups are there 24/7. And they are anonymous.

Different generations now live separate lives
Self-help groups help to fill a gap that is widening as generations live increasingly separate lives. Grandparents sometimes choose to live in purpose-built over-50s' complexes or to retire abroad to the Spanish sun. Some older people even take lead from America and spend their time travelling and enjoying themselves, spending their hard-earned cash. It can be a fantastic new lease of life for them, but they take with them a wealth of life experience and problem-solving skills. As a result, many young parents, for example, find they haven't picked up sufficient parenting skills when their first baby arrives.

With family scattered across country or even globe, in many cases contact with them has changed from daily interaction to occasional emails and a Christmas card Sadly, families tend to grow apart as a result of fragmented, stressful lives. So it's no wonder that friends and colleagues are so valued. In times of crisis it's often those closest to hand that we turn to, whether it's colleagues that we see so much of that they become our nearest and dearest, or friends who are always in bar with us or texting us during day, or a member of the new stepfamilies that most people find themselves in.

With a huge increase in divorce and re-marriage, new stepfamilies are being formed all time, making huge interconnected webs of new family members – a huge family network to call on for support and expertise.